On the way to work today I noticed that a couple of the trees in Journal Square have brand new leaves. It's been a bit warm for November, which I am thankful for, but I guess that the weather is tricking the trees. I'm hoping that we will have a mild winter as I am not a huge fan of the cold. I will take a hot, sticky, stinky, dank, stank, nasty, sweaty, New York summer day over the frigid, 30 below zero, windy, icy, bone-chilling, January-style weather we had last year. It was so cold that it took me all summer to warm up. And I never really got that warm either. Maybe I have mental frostbite.

Get your flip-flops and tank tops and get ready for one big heapin' helpin' of Global Warming!

Absorbine Junior has a website.

Absorbine Senior does not.

I think we are seeing ageism on the internet.

Who wants gmail???????

I have a couple of invites to spare so if you want gmail just email me at krixfort@gmail.com.

extra points if you are dumping your hotmail account, too.

Bite my ass MicroSUCKS!

so after all the hype about how this year's "Black Friday" was going to be THE BIGGEST BLACK FRIDAY SINCE 9/11 here's how it all turned out.

Wal-Mart Sales Cast Gloom, Stocks Fall

"NEW YORK (Reuters) - Stocks fell on Monday after Wal-Mart Stores Inc. recorded disappointing Thanksgiving sales, hurting hopes for a strong holiday retail season.

Wal-Mart, the world's largest retailer, fell about 3.5 percent to $53.37 after it slashed its forecast for November sales on Saturday, saying customer traffic slowed toward the end of the week.

Analysts said Wal-Mart's forecast could fuel concerns that high oil prices and lackluster job and wage growth could curb spending over the holidays, particularly among lower-income earners."

Don't believe the hype. Here's the story . . . as told by the markets.

Starbucks serves up in-store digital music service

Please. Why can't they just work on keeping their bathrooms clean. I admit, I've bought a couple of Starbucks compilation CDs but NOT BECAUSE I WANTED TO BRING STARBUCKS INTO MY HOUSE!!

I had this art history professor at Metropolitan State College in Denver who was going off one day about the commodification (another linguistically correct word coined on the spot) of lifestyle and how stores like Starbucks and Pottery Barn and Restoration Hardware and all that are really selling people the image of a lifestyle along with their products. It's the same kind of psychology that lies behind shows like Martha Stewart's Living. I was really offended at the time because I was firmly entrenched in the cult of Starbucks but now I see where she was coming from.

I'm going to post a starbucks logo on my blog and see how long it takes for me to get a cease and desist email from them.

I feel like a little biting gnat.

---

Here are some sites from people who have been drivin mad by Starbucks.
I hate starbucks -- one freak's obsession with Starbucks
Starbucks Everywhere -- one freak's obsession with Starbucks
Starbucks Gossip -- a blog devoted to Starbucks patrons
The Oracle of Starbucks

it's monday and we're back to the grind.

Speaking of grind, I have to say, I ready to give up on OB tampons. I used to love the little buggers; environmentally friendly, no extra paper or packaging, easy to conceal, designed by a woman gyno, etc. But now. . .I don't know if it's an age thing or what but they need to start packaging those super absorbent bastards with a tube of astroglide. After a weekend of OBs, I feel like I sandpapered my labia. But wait, there's relief in sight! For those of you that share my pain (ugh, gross), you can send away for NEW SILK EASE STYLE OB TAMPONS! SEE! I'm not making this stuff up. Obviously there was a problem with the old style OB.

YEAH! MONDAY! RIGHT ON!

WAKE UP PEOPLE!

I signed up for a writing workshop class at NYU. I'm not required to take anymore programming classes which kind of stinks because I suck at being a programmer. I don't suck but I don't think I'll ever be an application designer and I could care less if I ever was.

So anyway, I have some spare time and I signed up for a writing workshop.

I'm hyperventilating a little bit.

so, I found out I can drop my java class. Hurray. I'm going to have a big fat W on my transcript but what the hell. It certainly doesn't look like my University of WWWWWWWashington transcript from way back. And now maybe I can pull my head out and concentrate on the two classes I have a slim chance of getting an A in. I had a midterm grade of A- in Speech but I'm sure with the last missed class my grade has dropped. Okay, krixfort, you just have to get through this. All you have to do is pass and graduate and get this degree.

So back to Speech class. I can't believe I just didn't take this stuff earlier. But then again, it's much easier to do it now that I've had actual jobs where I've been required to speak in public or lecture or whatever. The speaking part is a breeze. I'm stuck on the speech writing part. It was easy in the beginning but now. . .

My last graded assignment is to write and deliver a persuasive speech on a subject that is adversarial. I want to write on Equal Opportunity Programs in Higher Education. I'm all for it. I haven't had to participate in them as of yet, but I had my ace in the hole when I was at U of W. But that's not why I'm for them. Mainly I think that the education system is unbalanced from the bottom up, starting in kindergarten. You can't point to race as the one thing that prevents kids from having equal opportunity. What you can point to is poverty and lack of resources and I'm sorry but what is the percentage of white ghettos in America? Until the economic divide is conquered, then I'm all for giving minority kids a break.

There is an argument about "Why do only non-Asian racial minorities get special treatment and preference during the admissions process?" Ask my Korean roommate and she will tell you that just about every one of her cousins was pushed and EXPECTED to go on to higher education. But, say you have a kid growing up on a reservation somewhere wants to go to college too, so that he or she might develop skills they couldn't on the rez. They want to go to LAW school so they can fight to not to lose the small settlements the U.S. government has given them. Maybe they want to go to medical school so that they can come back and work on health issues that affect their tribe. And suppose education is important to Native American families too; but not traditional, white, formal education. How does that kid compete? How does that kid compete with a kid whose family could afford $500.00 for SAT prep classes at Kaplan? Or a kid whose family is behind them 250%?

And in poor neighborhoods. . .well. . .let me tell you, when your parents can not afford to give you the $35.00 application fee to apply to the schools you would like to attend, you kind of lose hope (I'm speaking from experience here.) If it's between putting food on the table and your college application fee what do you think wins out. Better yet, if you yourself need a job to get food and rent and it's between studying or survival then what do you think wins out.

Equal Opportunity programs can be flawed, I know this. They shouldn't be looked at as an "out" for minority students who "just don't want to work as hard as their white or Asian counterparts." Until the root causes of inequality are addressed then Equal Opportunity programs need to stay intact.

After Proposition 209 passed in California, the number of minority students at Berkeley Law plummeted. I'm looking up statistics now for those of you read this and say I'm reactionary. But just think about it and lets extrapolate a little bit from this statement. Say this is the case at all the nation's top law (or Business) schools; that minority enrollment declines as equal opportunity programs are deemed "unfair." What kinds of jobs do people take when graduating from the nation's top law (or business) schools? They generally move on to become key decision and policy makers for our country. They move on to become judges and justices. They move on to become politicians. Do you think having non-ethnically diverse graduating classes from this nation's top institutions truly benefits our society as a whole? Really?

I'm going to quote from the Multicultural Supersite, a site devoted to promoting multicultural education and social change.

"it is not enough to continue working within an ailing, oppressive, and outdated system to make changes, when the problems in education are themselves symptoms of a system that continues to be controlled by the economic elite. One does not need to study education too closely to recognize that schools consistently provide continuing privilege to the privileged and continuing struggle for the struggling with very little hope of upward mobility. "Informal" tracking, standardized testing, discrepancies in the quality of schools within and across regions, and other practices remain from the industrial-age model of schools. Only the terminology has changed -- and the practices are not quite as overt.

Educators, educational theorists, researchers, activists, and everyone else must continue to practice and apply multicultural teaching and learning principles both inside and out of the classroom. We must not allow the knowledge that most people working in schools are well-intentioned to lead us to assume that our schools are immune to the oppression and inequity of society. We must ask the unaskable questions. We must explore and deconstruct structures of power and privilege that serve to maintain the status quo.

In a sense, multicultural education uses the transformation of self and school as a metaphor and starting place for the transformation of society. Ultimately, social justice and equity in schools can, and should, mean social justice and equity in society. Only then will the purpose of multicultural education be fully achieved."

That's what I'm talking about.

I would really like to back out of my java class. I'll take the W. I really will. I have no desire. I just want to work on this treatment for a TV show I've been working out. I don't want to be a part of the show per se. I just want to sell the idea and the first six episodes. Then whoever can do what they want with it.

Ugh. Tired. Hate computer.

Here's the current terror alert.

hope everyone had a happy thanksgiving. I certainly did. I ate more food than was humanly possible and spent some quality time with my east coast family.

Everything was fine and good until Mr. Mustard got crazy and tried to mount baby Benjamin. Mr. Mustard and Benjamin are both around two years old but Mr. Mustard is packing an extra 70 pounds and two more legs and a crazy wagging tail. Benjamin was torn between wanting to play with Mr. Mustard and wanting to run away from him. Mr. Mustard was somewhat curious about Ben too, but the shit hit the fan when Ben was trying to make his escape by crawling across the floor. Then Mustard's instincts kicked in and he pounced. The look on Ben's face after his mom scooped him up told me that many years of thearpy may be needed in order for him to every fully appreciate dogs or thanksgiving and who know if the combination of the two will ever cease to trigger deeply repressed memories of the incident.

I don't know. He seems to be fine this morning.
Cheers.

In 1997 the night before Thanksgiving was filled with danger. We tore down the bar at Vesuvio as was customary before a legally sanctioned day off. When the 2am bell rang, of course no one was ready to tear themselves away. Renzo came up with the brilliant idea to move the mob upstairs to his apartment over looking Columbus and Broadway. The Lovely had just returned from the Prince concert somewhere down in the South Bay and decided to join us in all her beautiful, raging glory. When we all finally made it up the never ending staircase to the third floor den of iniquity, The Lovely produced a wrinkled paper lunch sack full of some questionable substance. She grabbed a handful of whatever was in the bag and shoved it in her mouth, then proceeded to pass the bag around, playing hostess.

"Mushrooms anyone? Mushrooms?"

Who could resist?

I ate them and then waited for the inevitable. I drank a pilfered Bass Ale from Specs and chit chatted with everyone about their plans for Thanksgiving. I started to hear murmurings from the crowd. "Are you feeling it? Are you feeling yet?"

I was starting to feel that shaky, crumbly, sweaty, floaty feeling that accompanies the ingestion of hallucinatory drugs. I was a little excited. The last time I had eaten mushrooms was on a spring break from the University of Washington in 1988. It was day one of an eight day road trip down the coast and we had to make the ubiquitous stop in Eugene, OR where the brother of one of our compatriots lived in a commune bordering a golf course. Mushrooms were passed around then and I knew everyone was sizing me up as a potential traveling partner. I felt that I came up lacking; I didn't fit the part externally. I was wearing some Izod windbreaker and keds; no tie-dye or ripped jeans. I wasn't a person to be trusted. My history wasn't as obvious to them as it was to me. It made for a bit of an uncomfortable trip until I wandered off in the rain by myself, tripping my head off, getting soaked, getting lost in Eugene. I found myself on a foot bridge over the Willamette River where the water raged violently underneath. For some reason, my usual fear of heights and the vertigo that was partnered with it were conspicuously absent. I think I stood on that bridge in the downpour, hallucinating, and wondering if I could learn to kayak, for about two hours before wandering back, trying desperatly to retrace my soggy steps west, to the comforts of the commune, with its naked hot-tubbing and tofu scramble.

Back to Thanksgiving 1997.

There is always some point when doing stupid drugs where someone wants to do something that I think is simply silly and downright dangerous. It usually involves climbing something. At one point there were about five people on the fire escape, smoking, which I'm sure taxed the limits of the structure and broke every fire code known to man. From the fire escape there was a ladder which stretched up to the roof of the building. It's allure was irresistable. To this day, I cannot fathom the attraction of climbing a ladder, scaling up to the top of a three story building like a fucked up bug, drunk as a skunk, tripping eternally, and negotiating the roof's ledge to reach the relative safety of the roof's flat surface. Needless to say, I stayed in the living room. Even messed up, my fear factor was finely tuned.

At 6am the merry pranksters dispersed back to Vesuvio, which had just opened, in order to celebrate Thanksgiving with shots of Wild Turkey. I decided to wean myself out of the litter and try to sleep. After all, I had a dinner engagement to attend up in Sebastapol, an hour and a half north of SF. I was meeting friends of mine from Seattle, whose relatives lived in Northern CA. After a fitful four hours of non-rest, I dragged my sandy, crunchy and spent body down to my car to pick up my roommate Andrew and drop him in San Rafael at his mom's house. We stopped at the San Rafael Safeway where I spent an excruciating 45 minutes in the pie department, trying to make a decicion on which toxic technicolor pie to bring. Would it be the pernicious pumpkin? The lethal lemon merengue? The calamitous coconut creme?

I chose the maleficent mixed berry, sure that I alone would be the only one bringing that particular flavor.

The dinner went off with out incident. Well, I did break the cork while opening the 10 year old bottle of wine but after filtering it out, I was privy to one of the most delicious enological experiences I've had to date.

I made it home that evening and made it to bed, fat, happy and somewhat slightly less toxified than the previous morning. And that my friends, is my Thanksgiving story for you all. Turkey cures all.

Other Thanksgiving stories to come:
Thanksgiving 1998 - krixfort and kristeena roadtrip to Monterrey; arrive in time for turkey dinner
Thanksgiving 1999 - krixfort gets a job in SF; goes to emergency room
Thanksgiving 2000 - krixfort takes New Orleans;leaves no traces.
Thanksgiving 2001 - krixfort and kristeena have no home; eat at Coach House Diner in Jersey
Thanksgiving 2002 - krixfort travels to Michigan; gets snowed in
Thanksgiving 2003 - krixfort travels to Seattle; faces death, gets tatoo touch up

What's in store for 2004? That's for me to know and you to find out.

saw the advisor at NYU yesterday and she had great news!!! Only seven more classes until graduation!!! She re-worked some of my transfer credits to fulfill some more of my degree requirements and it's knocked off about 4 classes. YeeHAW!!!

I'm gonna have a degree!

It's about effing time.

so there is this lame poll that was taken by NYTimes and CBS that says people "have reservations about central elements of the second-term agenda."
rightly so but in reading down the article in the Times, I came across this little nugget:

"The poll also found pervasive concern about what Americans view as the corrosive effect Hollywood and popular culture have on the nation's values and moral standards. Seventy percent said they were very or somewhat concerned that television, movies and popular music were lowering moral standards in this country."

WHAT KIND OF MORONS ALLOW TELEVISION TO DICTATE MORAL STANDARDS TO THEM. FUCK! JESUS. Are these the same people that park their kids in front of a television to shut them up? The medium is designed to sell advertising, for chrissakes. In its brightest moments maybe, television can entertain, and at some points educate but those points are few and far between. I've got an answer for the people that are worried about television's contribution to the moral decline of America. . .turn the damn thing off. Read a book, idiots. Go for a walk. Get some excercise.

I would think that child molesting priests are more of a contributing factor to America's moral decline than a television set.


source: http://www.nytimes.com/2004/11/23/national/23poll.html?oref=login&th.
Americans Show Clear Concerns on Bush Agenda
By ADAM NAGOURNEY and JANET ELDER
Published in NYTimes Online: November 23, 2004

Well, I've made arrangements to pay off these bloodsucking fuckers at Pressler and Pressler before there is a judgement against me and I incur anymore fees and/or my wages are garnished. OOOF.

I've got to come up with the moolah by December 10 but I guess that won't be too big of a problem as long as I am frugal. That's kind of hard. That's kind of what got me into trouble in the first place.

I'm going to need to pull a credit report soon. I was looking on line at some credit information served up by this smalley-small credit card I have. It said that I have 7 open accounts and that my total revolving balances are somewhere between $12,000-$13,999. Are they? What accounts are those? Does that include my student loans? What is it???? Am I going to be sued again? Did someone open up an account in my name? ugh. ANXIETY.

shhhhh. shhhhhh. shhhhh. calm it.
I hate money.
I love beer.

this was a subject line of an email in the webmaster inbox at work:

fear of pending death, impending danger, or uneasiness

ooooooo, veeeeeeeerrrrrry scary. . .
whatever happened to Count Floyd? I was a big fan of his hit, "The Gory Story of Duane and Debbie."

anyway, I didn't like that spam. It gave me the creeps.

I told a friend of mine in seattle that I am going to post his response to sorryeverbody.com. I emailed pratically everyone I know because I got pretty excited about the whole thing. Anyway, he represents one of the voices from the other side of the fence and I always appreciate what he has to say. I told him I would make no comments. . .just post it.

"hmmmm
Did ya see what the ultra lib Washington Post wrote about Billy Boy Clinton and his selling pardons to rich Dem bastards in order to fund his monument to himself; the clinton steam bath-- er library.
I couldn't believe the Wash Post picked up this story. Bashing one of their own...The scandals with that guy never end...

You know, it tells you how bad Clinton was that he put W in office ..Twice.... and that control of congress by the right has increased.... I guess when the DNC gets a moderate candidate that caters to Mom and Pop Middle America instead of the special interests and corrporation execs like howie schultz- a big clinton supporter- then people like me will vote Dem . Until them the losers need to realize they lost because their candidate was so bad that he couldn't win an election given to him by the 2nd worst american president. The first worst being mr clinton... "

The spending bill passed with the abortion rider, with all its original language, intact. It expands the "conscience clause" to all clinics/agencies, not just clinics/agencies associated with the church. Prior to this new legislation, clinics associated with the church had the right to refuse to perform abortions or counsel anyone on abortions without losing federal taxpayer money. Now that ability to refuse has been extended to any and all federally funded clinics/agencies without any loss of funds.

Another bonus that came with the new spending bill is that the path has been cleared for the federal government to re-do the formula for college aid. It was blocked in congress last year but not this. As our current government looks for ways to balance it's budget because of all the overspending in Iraq, congress is now making it easier to go in and gut the the Pell grant and other student aid programs. It hasn't happened yet, but the blocks have been removed and as you can see in the previous paragraph, it won't take much to push things like this through.

So I went through my mail yesterday. There was about a week's worth piled up because I have this curious ability to ignore it. There's a reason why. Generally the mail brings bad news and true to form, I find a letter from the Superior Court of Hudson County addressed to me. At first I thought, 'jury duty?' That's a pain but I'm down with participating in the legal system. I guess I will be participating in the legal system because what I received was not a call to jury duty but a summons. So then I think, is this some weird residual thing leftover from the case of the stolen car? Why would I need to be involved in that? I thought that case was closed. I read a little further and I see my name in the defendant column and the words "You are being sued" somewhere on the paper and then my brain just started to shut down.

I'm being taken to court to pay some crap debts that I haven't cleared up. Debts incurred in 1996 back when I made $800.00 a month as a Starbucks peon and when my health insurance lapsed. I owed this company about 600.00 originally and it was one of those things that I always figured I would pay eventually. Well, the courts will force my hand, I guess. I am supposed to reply in writing if I want to go to the court and explain my side but I don't have anything to explain. The fact is, I didn't pay my debt.

I'm going to call the plaintiff's lawyer tomorrow and see if I can make arrangements to pay this crap, which of course now, with interest and lawyers fees and my general lack of attention to this matter has shot up to about $900.00.

I'm glad this came right before Christmas and spring semester tuition. And rent. It also sets me back on my plan to save money in case I am out of a job in the next three months. I feel like my back is to the wall. Today, all I could do was sleep. I wanted to work on my JAVA homework, which is becoming more and more dismal each day. I'm not one for online classes apparently. But sleeping and not dealing took precedence.

This whole work/job/moving thing has caused me to lose focus at work and fall behind there. I'm behind in school and freaking out. Now money is fucked up.

All I can do is dig myself out. It seems I will never get ahead. fuck.

this was in my hotmail. . .when I could finally get into it.

Negotiators Add Abortion Clause to Spending Bill
By SHERYL GAY STOLBERG and CARL HULSE
House and Senate negotiators have tucked a potentially far-reaching anti-abortion provision into a $388 billion must-pass spending bill.

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/11/20/politics/20spend.html?th

I'm at the end of my rope with Hotmail today and I've only been on this computer for an hour. They are or have apparently launched some "enhancements" over at Camp Microsoft that are FUCKING UP THE DELIVERY OF THEIR WEB PAGES!

I have no toloerance for that crap. So I say:

MICROSOFT!!!! ARE YOU LISTENING????? TAKE YOUR BUGGY FUCKING TECHNOLOGY AND STUFF IT BACK IN YOUR PANTS!! I DON'T WANT IT.

grrrrr. evil technocrats. I can't believe I worked there.

I find it funny that the terror alert level was lowered a day or two after BushCo. "won" the election. Fuckers. Negative points for subtlety. Everything is still the same except they took away the man that stood in front of the Prudential Building in Newark who held a semi-automatic weapon.

You know what's a fun word to say? Kalashnikov. Holy shit, I typed kalashnikov into google and this site, http://kalashnikov.guns.ru/

Just say NYET.

I often get emails from old job profiles I have up on sites like techies.com (is that still around even?), Dice.com, HotJobs, Monster, etc. I got one today. What a GREAT OPPORTUNITY!!!!!!! I'm so glad the economy is picking up!!!!! Check this out!!!!!

-----
Dear Krixfort,

You have received this email because your techbroker(SM) Personal Opportunity
Tracker stated that you were willing to hear about job opportunities nationwide.

Company: Aramco Services Company
Position: Web Solutions Specialist
Profession / Job Family: Web & Interactive Content

Minimum Required Years of Experience: Advanced (10+ years)
Skills: JSP (Java Server Page), Java, ASP (Active Server Pages), ASP.NET (ASP+),
CORBA

Job Summary:
This position is located in Saudi Arabia.
-------

blah blah blah. NO THANKS!!!

I found this in my junk mail box today. . .a spam from www.escapeartist.com with all kinds of info about living abroad. I don't remember signing up for this but I was kind of glad to get it.

Look, here's an invite!!


I could live there. Call me in 2008.

Kristeena already decided that she is going to wait until she can get a zyban prescription before she quits. I had one on my walk from the PATH to my apartment.

Today I am still going to shoot for none.

If anyone ever says that tobacco is not addictive, they are cut out for a job in the BUSH administration. LIARS!!! (never miss an opportunity to call them LIARS!!)

PANTS-ON-FIRE!!!!!

here's an excerpt from the NYTimes. (AGAIN?????) It's from an article about the increase in fear of censorship by the nation's television networks and stations. If you want to read the entire article it is:
Bono's New Casualty: 'Private Ryan'
by columnist FRANK RICH
Published in NYTimes Online: November 19, 2004

"For anyone who doubts that we are entering a new era, let's flash back just a few years. "Saving Private Ryan," with its "CSI"-style disembowelments and expletives undeleted, was nationally broadcast by ABC on Veteran's Day in both 2001 and 2002 without incident, and despite the protests of family-values groups. What has changed between then and now? A government with the zeal to control both information and culture has received what it calls a mandate. Media owners who once might have thought that complaints by the American Family Association about a movie like "Saving Private Ryan" would go nowhere are keenly aware that the administration wants to reward its base. Merely the threat that the F.C.C. might punish a TV station or a network is all that's needed to push them onto the slippery slope of self-censorship before anyone in Washington even bothers to act. This is McCarthyism, "moral values" style.

What makes the "Ryan" case both chilling and a harbinger of what's to come is that it isn't about Janet Jackson and sex but about the presentation of war at a time when we are fighting one. That some of the companies whose stations refused to broadcast "Saving Private Ryan" also own major American newspapers in cities as various as Providence and Atlanta leaves you wondering what other kind of self-censorship will be practiced next. If these media outlets are afraid to show a graphic Hollywood treatment of a 60-year-old war starring the beloved Tom Hanks because the feds might fine them, toy with their licenses or deny them permission to expand their empires, might they defensively soften their news divisions' efforts to present the graphic truth of an ongoing war? The pressure groups that are exercised by Bono and "Saving Private Ryan" are often the same ones who are campaigning to derail any news organization that's not towing the administration line in lockstep with Fox."

read more. . .

Sorryeverybody.com is out of control. What a simple and elegant site. And moving. It's blowing me away. It even spawned a reply site, apologiesaccepted.com.

Here's some info about sorryeverybody.com:

And so far the site carries nearly 5,000 photos, with an apparent backlog of over 1,000 more ready to be uploaded and new ones coming in faster than the site's diverse gaggle of stunned creators -- namely, a sly neuroscience student from USC named James and his ragtag team of webmasters and designers from across the country -- ever dreamed. And the reaction has been, to put it mildly, overwhelming: a whopping 50 million hits to the site so far, moving nearly two terabytes of information. And growing fast.


All of it gives me hope.

a fellow blogger sent me a link to this site, www.sorryeverybody.com, which I have wasted way too much work time looking at. Maybe I am just trying to get fired so I don't have to make a choice as to whether or not I stay at this company.

Anyway, the site is brilliant!


And here's a link to MURMURS, the site of the nice person who sent me this great link! Gracias Chica!

It is November 18th. Great American Smokeout Day. Kristeena and I are quitting cold-turkey-lurkey, even though I still have a whole pack of American Spirits in my bag. (Shhhhh - I'll keep them just in case.)

I got in some political debate with a guy from North Carolina last night over september 11th. I don't even remember what I said, really. All I know is that I was disgusted. I think this guy was trying to get a little down home action before he left town but I successfully drove that good ol' boy away. I told you, it's "Work First!" That is the new policy and by god I'm sticking to it. I don't have time for dalliances. Besides. . .can you say REDNECK?

Disclaimer: he was a polite REDNECK. But a country boy nonetheless and he could've been the nicest person on this or any other planet in the ocean but I just like that snotty intellectual type. What am I saying, I don't like the snotty intellectual type either. I like the artist-y type. hmmmm. well. no. not really that either. I like funny sarcastic clever sharp-witted type with little regard for the rest of humanity who can make me laugh my ass off. I have several friends like this and I am thankful for every one of them. yay!

I apologize to every one who has the intestinal fortitude to read the drivel that I write. I'm on a spew-y politicized rant these days that I'm sure is rather tiresome. Not going to stop today though.

Here's the latest from the Times:

House G.O.P. Acts to Protect Chief
By CARL HULSE
Published in NYTimes Online: November 18, 2004

WASHINGTON, Nov. 17 - Spurred by an investigation connected to the majority leader, House Republicans voted Wednesday to abandon an 11-year-old party rule that required a member of their leadership to step aside temporarily if indicted.

Meeting behind closed doors, the lawmakers agreed that a party steering committee would review any indictments handed up against the majority leader, Representative Tom DeLay of Texas, or any other members of the leadership team or committee chairmen, to determine if giving up a post was warranted. The revision does not change the requirement that leaders step down if convicted.

The new rule was adopted by voice vote. Its chief author, Representative Henry Bonilla of Texas, said later that only a handful of members had opposed it.

The Republicans' old rule was adopted in August 1993 to put a spotlight on the legal troubles of prominent Democrats.
read more. . .

I love the fact that the rules can be broken or "overturned" or dismissed when they aren't convenient. God this administration is chronicly and blantantly manipulative and self-serving.

I bought the ticket.

Okay, the site just came up and the jackpot is up to $149 million. So I guess I didn't win it. But maybe I won a little bit. Let's see.

Nothing. Rats.

---

I saw Augusten Burroughs speaking at the 92nd Street Y last night. He was great. He was being interviewed by a shrink. She was pretty shrink-y but he managed to steer the conversation away from her on many occaisions. It was definitely more enjoyable to hear him talk about his own stuff. His ideas about writing hit very close to home. Must be why I like him so much.

he's a demon on wheels, He's a demon and he's gonna be chasin' after someone.

I used to rush home from school to watch Speed Racer and I would cry if I missed it because I was in LOVE with Speed. Later in life, however, I became infatuated with the mysterious Racer X. grrrrrowl. what's not to like, hmmm?


I’ve never driven so fast in my life. This speed is taking me into another dimension. It’s fantastic!-- Speed Racer

The best Speed Racer episode was The Fastest Car on Earth. It is High Fucking Drama! They give Speed racer these drugs to drive this car (the GRX) and then they have to talk him down out of a freak out. This show was made in the late 60s/early 70s. What do you suppose those crazy Japanese animators were up to?

Here's a plot synopsis:

Episode 20: “The Fastest Car on Earth (Part 1)"

At midnight in a cemetery, the GRX racecar engine is unearthed. The following day Spritle and Chim are trapped inside a truck. It takes them to Oriana Flub’s house, where Chim Chim is tied to a motorized go-cart. When the chimp comes to a stop, one of Oriana’s men sprays a “formula” at him. As he takes off again, Oriana announces that “they’ll win the Grand Prix of the Orient.”
At the track, a new racecar comes on the scene. Pops recognizes the sound of its engine. High in the stands, Oriana and her right-hand man, Omar watch while a thug sprays the driver of the mysterious car with the formula. At Oriana’s house, Pops accuses her of stealing the engine “out of the tomb of Bent Cranium,” the engine’s inventor. Pops adds that five test drivers and Cranium died because of the GRX. Oriana knocks him out with “sleeper gas.”
Meanwhile, Speed in the Mach 5, along with Trixie and Sparky, follows a flatbed truck carrying the GRX racecar. Inside the truck’s cab, the man on the passenger side is desperate for water. After he gulps several mouthfuls, he becomes delusional and begs the driver to slow down. The truck pulls into Oriana’s garage. Spritle and Chim Chim, who have been lurking in the bushes, spot Speed on the truck. In another room, Pops is being beaten.
In the garage, Speed discovers the famous GRX engine. A man named Curly appears. A fight ensues. Meanwhile, Spritle and Chim Chim rescue Pops, who’s tied to a chair. Speed knocks out Curly. As if hypnotized by the car, Speed gets inside to “try it just once.” The high speed takes Speed into another dimension and he passes out.

Episode 21: “The Fastest Car on Earth (Part 2)”

Speed has passed out behind the wheel of the GRX. Eventually, the car comes to a half at the edge of an aqueduct. Spritle and Chim Chim drag Speed out of the racecar. One of Oriana’s thugs gets in the GRX and drives away.
At the Racer homestead Pops sets out to “cure” Speed of his delusions. Later at the racetrack, the final trials for the Oriental Grand Prix are about to begin. Oriana’s thug squirts the formula at Louis Towcar so that he can “stand the speed of the GRX.” Further, he warns the driver that if he drinks water while he is driving, “you’ll get so scared, you’ll lose control of the car and smash into smithereens.
The race begins. Towcar tries to quench his insatiable thirst. A chemical reaction takes effect and Towcar passes out. Speed autojacks over the GRX, which blows up. Later, in her helicopter, Oriana asks Speed to drive the GRX in the upcoming race.
Speed gets into the repaired GRX racecar. The thug gives him the formula. He takes off. Upon spotting Speed in the GRX, Trixie lands her helicopter in Speed’s path. Pops rushes over to Speed. At home, Pops once again tries to deprogram his son. Dr. Skuller reports to Pops that his son has inhaled V gas.
On race day, Speed is “scared and can’t help it.” Pops tells him to be a man. Curly, driving the GRX, vows to win. The race begins. Speed races ahead, Pops’ advice ringing in his ears. Curly goes into the pit and runs for water. As he resumes the race, he becomes delusional. The GRX spins out of control, bursting into flames. Speed pulls into the lead and wins the race. We then learn that Curly was the son of the GRX’s inventor.
------------

I must get this on DVD. I MUST.

this is not cool.

Former G.I.'s, Ordered to War, Fight Not to Go
By MONICA DAVEY
Published NY TIMES ONLINE: November 16, 2004

The Army has encountered resistance from more than 2,000 former soldiers it has ordered back to military work, complicating its efforts to fill gaps in the regular troops.

Many of these former soldiers - some of whom say they have not trained, held a gun, worn a uniform or even gone for a jog in years - object to being sent to Iraq and Afghanistan now, after they thought they were through with life on active duty.

Read More. . .

The Mega Million Jackpot is now 126 million dollars.

It is time to buy the ticket.

So instead of fantasizing this morning about what I would do with the money, I fantasized about what I would tell the press when I won.

"So, Ms. Krixfort, how are you going to spend your winnings?"

"Well, first I'm going to dig myself out of debt. Then I will dig my family out of debt. Then I will make sure my family has a place to live that is bought and paid for. Then I will make sure that my family has an income producing portfolio to sustain them. Then I will make sure that my nieces and nephew have a college fund. I will finish my degree and maybe travel a bit, buy a place to live, and all that. You know, the American Dream, so to speak. The sad part about the American Dream these days is that in order to obtain it, I had to win the Mega Million Dollar jackpot. Wouldn't be able to get it otherwise. Tell that to George Bush."

well here it is.

content edited

yours truly.


I don't know what's going on with my mouth. I guess patriots try to hide their double chins.

Here's where this patriot hangs out.

Bobst Library, NYU.


Washington Square.


And here's what the patriot sees everyday on the way to and from school.

Reconstruction at ground zero.


It was a foggy day when I took the pic. The Deutsche Bank building on the left is slated to be demolished because of the 15-story gash it suffered after the south twin tower collapsed. It's been covered in a black shroud since the days after 9/11.

why America? Why?

AND

The fasciniation with LIARS is undeniable.

If I was a gun owner I would shoot at the effing guy who is parked outside my bedroom window right now. He is waiting in his car, apparently to pick someone up, and instead of getting out of his car and knocking on the door like a civilized person, he is just sitting there, honking his car horn. Every minute in a half, he honks "shave and a haircut" as his calling card.

If I was a sniper, I'd shoot his horn out. I was looking forward to sleeping in but now, I can't.

Back to the JAVA homework. Two down last night, two hard assignments to go today.

Need coffee for the JAVA.

well, for those of you who keep track of these things, I ended up with an A on my speach about lingustic analysis. Whew. I thought it was weaker than my coffee demonstration speech, but the prof says my delivery was improved. I DID NOT rehearse this speech. I wrote it the night before. . .finished around 1:30 am. Good lord. I don't like working like that.

Oh and by the way, the paper I wrote for Business Organization & Management also earned an A. I wrote it the night before, on the Collins Bar, drinking icy cold budweisers. Again, I'd rather have my shit done ahead of time.

In the true spirit of procrastination, now I am finally working on my JAVA programming homework. I have three weeks worth of programming to learn and in looking at the effing syllabus, I was confronted with the fact that the class ends in a mere 3 weeks. I must catch up by Monday. There is simply no other choice. I look at the stuff and my logical mind is completely blocked. It's like writer's block, although I've never heard of programmer's block. I'm sure if there are some web wonks out there like myself, they have come up against projects that they didn't want to start because they couldn't get their tiny little brains around it. They probably just wrote on and on in their blogs too, at that point.

I hate JAVA. Why did I ever sign up for this class? Why do I need to know how to code now? All the coding jobs are going away. And I'm taking two more JAVA classes after this.

Okay okay, you always wanted to learn a "real" programming language like C or C++ or Smalltalk or something so now you have your chance and you're being a baby about it. Just dig in and make your brain go to work.

My brain fucking hates coding anymore. I wanted to learn a real language about 4 years ago and I could care less about building software these days. If I had to backtrack 2 years, I'd have signed up for the creative writing degree.

No you wouldn't have. There's no security in that and you wouldn't have been able to leverage the skill set you spent the last five years developing.

Enough! ENOUGH! BRAINS! Stop your in-fighting and bickering. I AM NOT GETTING MY WORK DONE WITH YOU TWO HALVES CARRYING ON!

Damn. Sometimes you just have to lay the hammer down. Bonk!

bye.

It's up on CNN

holy moly mac-a-molie.
I just got a new 19 inch flat panel monitor at work and my constant, chronic, migraine headache went away immediately. The tighness I had in my temples from squinting all the time has left too.

Mein Gott, this is cool. Now I won't have sue for compensation for work related injuries.

Good article in the NY Times today.

Here's an excerpt from On 'Moral Values,' It's Blue in a Landslide by Frank Rich, published online on NY Times.com November 12, 2004.

Mr. Wittman echoes Thomas Frank, the author of "What's the Matter With Kansas?," by common consent the year's most prescient political book. "Values," Mr. Frank writes, "always take a backseat to the needs of money once the elections are won." Under this perennial "trick," as he calls it, Republican politicians promise to stop abortion and force the culture industry "to clean up its act" - until the votes are counted. Then they return to their higher priorities, like cutting capital gains and estate taxes. Mr. Murdoch and his fellow cultural barons - from Sumner Redstone, the Bush-endorsing C.E.O. of Viacom, to Richard Parsons, the Republican C.E.O. of Time Warner, to Jeffrey Immelt, the Bush-contributing C.E.O. of G.E. (NBC Universal) - are about to be rewarded not just with more tax breaks but also with deregulatory goodies increasing their power to market salacious entertainment. It's they, not Susan Sarandon and Bruce Springsteen, who actually set the cultural agenda Gary Bauer and company say they despise.

Choice of Gonzales May Blaze a Trail for the High Court
By ELISABETH BUMILLER and NEIL A. LEWIS
Published: November 12, 2004
WASHINGTON, Nov. 11 - Republicans close to the White House said on Thursday that the choice of Alberto R. Gonzales as attorney general was part of a political strategy to bolster Mr. Gonzales's credentials with conservatives and position him for a possible Supreme Court appointment.

read more. . .

here is a transcript of an email I sent to my boss and system administrator.

-----Original Message-----
From: krixfort
Sent: Thursday, November 11, 2004 5:57 PM
To: D---
Cc: G---
Subject: spam filter request


there has to be a way we can filter subject lines like this out

and I quote

"Big fuckpoles ram into tiny virgins cumsplattered faces!"

Please. The webmaster inbox can't take it. I've got a good sense of humor but man. . .

By the way, I saw Ellen in the cc. . . .I'm sure she was thrilled.

some person of ambiguous sexual orientation got on the Trenton bound NJ Transit train I was on this morning, wearing a batting helmet. I thought it was kind of funny and I wanted to laugh but I was afraid ol' crazy might put his/her head down and ram me in the gut with the helmet.

This has been around for awhile and is always good for a laugh. Star Wars is My Best Movie

You will like it. Especially if you're a geek.

Here's another little story about The Adventures of Monkeyman and Finch. That's finch -->


krixfort: keeping you INFORMED and ENTERTAINED

ps. who remembers the answer to the question "Do you speak Bocce?"

the answer is: "Of course I can, sir. It's like a second language for me. I'm as fluent in Bocce..."

I have so much Java homework to do it is insane. The weekend I will be eating, breathing, and drinking java. I will be eating java beans and java applets. My distilled beverage of choice will be some fermented form of Java. The only excercise I will get will be looking through runtime libraries.

sigh

give me my cup of java.

FactCheck.org

run by non-partisan researcher geeks dedicated to un-spinning the spin on things like, oh let's just say, MANIPULATION OF STATISTICS?!

"facts are simple and facts are straight / facts are lazy and facts are late / facts all come with points of view / facts don't do what i want them to / facts just twist the truth around / facts are living turned inside out"
---Talking Heads, "Crosseyed and Painless"

I just signed up for emails from The Heritage Foundation. I'm keeping an eye on the right.

the gadfly in me has found a reason to get excited about taking a saturday morning statistics class. I was thinking about all the numbers that are thrown at us as an unsuspecting country. Let's face it, statistically speaking, how many people in the U.S. can ask the right questions of statistics? How many people took statistics in college? I admit that I don't know how to critically examine stats when they are shoved at me. And now I think that I need to dig into this.

I was thinking about things like analyzing average home prices vs. average wage and number of people per state vs. number of jobs (I guess that's jobs per capita?) And then I started thinking about analyzing stats (or the interpretation of stats) from the last four years. According to George Bush's website, his record states:

Since last August, over 1.5 million new jobs have been created.

The unemployment rate has fallen from 6.3 to 5.6 percent, below the average of the 1970s, 1980s and 1990s.

This job growth is widespread – employment over the last year was up in 41 of the 50 states, and the unemployment rate was down in 47 of the 50 states.

and

Homeownership rates are at record levels – nearly seven out of ten American families own their own home today.

Household wealth is near a record high.

Consumer confidence is up from the levels seen at this time last year and is in the upper third of its historical range.

Inflation remains low by historical standards, as do mortgage rates.

I can't afford a home yet I now make more a year than my parents annual combined income in any year. Sure I could afford to own a home in Nebraska but I'm not going to find the same job opportunities. I can barely afford my higher education. Statistically speaking, my consumer confidence is NOT up.

I've often wondered, cetaris paribus, or, all things being equal, does a $10.00 an hour manufacturing job in a town where the cost of living is "lower" really provide just as much as a $28.00 an hour programming job in a city where the cost of living is "higher?" How can we determine this statistically?

What are the statistics behind Bush's claims? If the jobless rate is indeed down, how many of these jobs pay people what they need to live? What does this statement really mean: "Household wealth is near a record high." For what period of time? Measured how? Is there a way to prove that statistically?

I hope the people that bought Bush's stats without questions don't cry too hard when they get bitch-slapped by this administration in the next four years. The Brazilification (thank you Douglas Coupland for that term) of this country has only started to steam-roll ahead. The middle class may as well pack it up and move to where the cost of living is affordable and the jobs are plenty. . .Hyderabad if you're in the tech sector like me. India, China, Malaysia, Thailand. . .They have jobs for you if you're in pharmaceutical research, manufacturing, engineering, graphic design. Even accounting jobs are moving. Statistically speaking that is.

Bush Nominates His Top Counsel for Justice Post
By DAVID E. SANGER and ERIC LICHTBLAU
President Bush said that Alberto R.Gonzales had been "a calm and steady voice at times of crisis" as his White House counsel.

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/11/11/politics/11justice.html?th

The gadfly wanna-be says to watch this guy and see what he's about. There's a creepy quote from the NY Times article that says:
"Even before the announcement, civil liberties and human rights groups began recirculating copies of drafts of memorandums Mr. Gonzales or his aides wrote, including one from January 2002, advising Mr. Bush that the "nature of the new war" on terror "renders obsolete Geneva's strict limitations on questioning of enemy prisoners and renders quaint some of its provisions."

Now, to be fair, I'd like to read the entire memorandum which included this excepted statement to find out how far out of context this may have been taken. I'm the first to admit I will use excerpts of people's articles or speeches to prove my case, JUST LIKE THE MEDIA and anyone else trying to make a point. BUT, hey, that last quoted sentence of his deserves a little investigation, n'est-ce pas? What exactly does he mean? C'mon people, this is a guy who will be pushing through PATRIOT ACT II THE SEQUEL -- THIS TIME IT'S PERSONAL. Whomever is appointed to this position will, over the next four years, be weighing in heavily on reproductive rights legislation, civil liberites, the death penalty, treatment of detainees (political prisoners), etc. etc.

Gonzales deserves a bit of scrutiny. Even if we're powerless to do anything about his appointment, and maybe we aren't, but if we are, we all should know what we're up against in the years to come.

somehow I am getting SPAM FROM GOD, or at least one of god's messengers.

lucky me. here's what the messenger of god delivered to my hotmail account:

"What image best describes your heart? A water-drenched kid in front of an open fire hydrant? Or a bristled, desert tumbleweed?

You're acquainted with physical thirst. Stop drinking and see what happens. Coherent thoughts vanish, skin grows clammy, and vital organs shut down. Deprive your body of necessary fluid, and it will tell you.

Deprive your soul of spiritual water, and it will tell you. Dehydrated hearts send desperate messages. Snarling tempers. Waves of worry. Growing guilt and fear. Hopelessness. Resentment. Loneliness. Insecurity.

But you don't have to live with a dehydrated heart. God invites you to treat your thirsty soul as you would treat your physical thirst. Just visit the WELL and drink deeply."


Does this mean if I read the bible, all of my cherished neuroses will go away? I don't think I could bear that. They are my best, and closest friends.

excerpts from Why Democrats Should Be Thankful, an article by Daniel Gross on MSN Money, 11/03/2004.

"On Nov. 3, as the bleary-eyed nation returned to work, the Treasury Department announced an impending crisis. If the lame-duck Congress doesn't raise the statutory $7.384 trillion debt limit, which was intentionally breached in October, by Nov. 18, the world's greatest power will run out of cash.

Congress, with the White House's blessing, left town before the election without dealing with the debt limits—but not before passing an appalling, special-interest-written, corporate tax bill that will deprive the government of more than $100 billion in future revenues. That double irresponsibility—the lousy tax bill and the ignored debt limit—was a fitting end to the past four years of essentially one-party rule. . .

The fiscal record of the past four years has been one of unmitigated—and seemingly intentional—irresponsibility. A Republican Congress working with a Republican president created the massive new Medicare prescription-drug entitlement, passed a new, subsidy-crammed farm bill, committed hundreds of billions of dollars to war efforts, and loaded up on pork-barrel spending. Meanwhile, taxes were reduced—on wage earners, investors, and companies. The end result: We collected about the same amount of taxes in fiscal 2004 as we did in fiscal 1999. But we spent 34 percent more. The total national debt has risen 30 percent in the past four years."

The Krixfort blog. . .keeping you informed.

I'm listening to Neko Case today. She's singing about Tacoma, of all the god-forsaken places. I guess Tacoma's not that bad. They named a truck after it, after all.

I'm going to build a car and name it The Newark-er.

so this morning in the shower I decided to end my period of interpersonal glasnost. I am spending far to much energy thinking about wanting to meet someone. I was better off when that compartment was battened down. So battened down it will be. I used to enjoy going to my email inbox(es) but now it only makes me sad. I'm tired of feeling sad.

I must now concentrate on these last four semesters at school and how I will re-direct my career in the wake of this last development at my job. I at least get positive reinforcement in my work (for the most part) and in my academic pursuits. Will I move with my current employer or will I move on? Will I continue on to the Master's Degree in Technology Management program at Columbia after NYU? I have no time for relationships. Maybe at some point in the future I'll be able to toggle that desire back on again but for now, it's back to "Work First!"

God, when I grow up, I want to be a fully integrated, whole person.

Ashcroft resigns.

A quote from today's NY Times says, "We had an attorney general who treated criticism and dissent as treason, ethnic identity as grounds for suspicion and Congressional and judicial oversight as inconvenient obstacles," said David Cole, a law professor at Georgetown University. "He was a disaster from a civil liberties perspective but also from a national security perspective."

I imagine Colin Powell will resign in the near future. Hopefully he will be able to distance himself from this administration. He should have never signed on with the Republicans. They hung him out to dry.

Too bad Wolfowitz, Cheney, and Rumsfeld won't take the hint.

It is a cold, crisp, and clear night tonight. According to the astronomers, if you live in a place that has no light polution, which I do not, you should be able to see Aurora's Borealis. If you ask me, she ought to cover that shit up.

on my walk home tonight from the PATH station, there were two gang-y looking dudes, big guys, who were walking down the street about a block away from me. They were singing at the top of their lungs in two-part harmony.

What was their song of choice?

Man Eater by Hall and Oates.

Nice choice boys!

I'm not sure who the author of this piece is. . .It was forwarded to me in an email and I thought, in keeping with the ex-pat thread, that I would go ahead and post. It's funny to take stock of what comes out of the "Blue" states.

----
ADOPT US, O Canada!

As a blue-red split continues in the Divided States of America, we note that every blue state is contiguous to Canada or to a another blue state that is contiguous to Canada, except Hawaii - that's not contiguous to anything but a lot of blue water that's contiguous to Canada.

Therefore, we've got an idea. How about a sort of second American Revolution, Canada, in which you annex all the blue states, liberate us from King George, and thus become the world's sole superpower.

What Canada Gets:

Higher education:
All eight Ivy League universities, Stanford, U. Chicago and Northwestern all just lowered their admissions standards for the kids from Saskatchewan.

Serious sports:
Forget the Super Bowl. With the Eagles, Patriots, Steelers, Jets, Vikings and Packers, the Grey Cup is where it's at.
You get the Expos back as they're now in D.C. But who needs the Expos when you've got the Red Sox, Yankees, Twins, Mariners, Giants, Dodgers, Angels, Padres, Phillies and Pirates. The World Series is coming! The World Series is coming!
The Raptors are Canada's favorite basketball team? We don't think so. What about Flyers-Maple Leafs? Flyers-Canadiens? Settle the strike and drop the puck.

Warm-weather vacations:
Sun yourselves whenever you want in Southern California or Hawaii at Canada's beautiful beaches.

The cultural arts:
Tourists will love Canada's museums including the Smithsonian, the Museum of Natural History and the Philadelphia Museum of Art. Plus, in addition to Broadway, the Kennedy Center and top regional theater, we're throwing in our best orchestras - Philadelphia, Boston, Chicago and L.A.

The entertainment industry:
You already love our movies and TV shows more than those red-staters and now when that rare production shoots in California or New York instead of Vancouver or Toronto, you still get credit for the jobs and the tax revenue.

The automobile industry:
Ohio can keep its Honda plant. GMs, Fords and Chryslers are made in Canada.

The biotech industry:
With many of the world's top biotech firms located in Massachusetts, New York, Washington and California (thanks to $6 billion in new stem cell research funding), it's likely that Canadian scientists will cure cancer and heart disease within the next 50 years.

The computer industry:
That's right, we keep Microsoft, Apple, Hewlett-Packard and Silicon Valley. "America" gets Dell.

A burgeoning tourist industry:
You've now got a lot more to sell than Toronto, the Cabot Trail and the glaciers in Banff. Even red-staters love to visit Atlantic City, the Liberty Bell, Maui, the Space needle and Disneyland (now Disney Canada).

Fresher produce:
Canada, the artichoke, garlic and strawberry capital of the world. And Canadian wines just got a whole lot tastier.

What the Red-Staters get:
Exactly what they want.

What Blue-Staters get:
Canadian citizenship, and we don't even have to move.
"O, Canada", A national anthem that's much easier to sing than "The Star Spangled Banner."
Free flu shots. (Not to mention free health care.)


You don't like our "values," red-staters, you've got your wish - we're outta here.

But remember, the next time you want to see a Broadway show, visit wine country, Hawaii or the birthplace of liberty, don't just bring your Visa card, bring your visa.

You're in Canada now. And we're tightening our borders.

Don't delay, Canada. This offer expires in four years.

hooray for American innovation!!! Yum yum yum!

Press Release:
Jones Soda Co. Launches Five New Holiday Flavors

November 08, 2004

Seattle, WA, U.S.A. – Jones Soda Co. (the "Company" or "Jones Soda" or "Jones"), announces today its limited edition holiday pack of five new seasonal flavors which includes: Green Bean Casserole Soda, Mashed Potato & Butter Soda, Fruitcake Soda, Cranberry Soda and Turkey & Gravy Soda.