38's okay. Not much different except that I seem to be obsessing about the Discovery Health Body Challenge, our newly introduced 401K plan and how much more I will have to pay NYU in order to obtain this effing bacelor's degree. I have nine more core courses left. That is so few. I'm torn between trying to barrel through in three semsters or just staying at the pace I'm going. I'll probably just keep the pace at least for now. I have to think about the tortoise and the hare and all that "slow and steady wins the race" b.s.

Anyway at one point this weekend I picked up the NYU bulletin and crossed out all the classes I've already had and circled the classes I haven't taken and then started to hyperventilate. Then I calmed down and told myself to relax. That I could only do what I could do and that was all I could do. . . which sounds kind of weird and twelve steppy.

ALSO, I'm having a crisis about what concentration I should go into. Currently I'm in Application programming and there are three different options that I've been considering there, Oracle database training, Java Programming or Object Oriented design and programming. The other track which could actually be good might be the Multimedia Production and Web Technologies concentration.

Here's the thing. the first concentration gives me a strong foundation in software building, object oriented design methodologies, and would put me just behind someone with a CS degree, in the employment pecking order. It also has the best chance of paying off financially. The other would alllow me to stay in technology, use the front-end development skills that I'm already strong in and I could probably be fairly creative. Might not pay as much and would probably be more oriented to freelance work which could be a good thing. Maybe I should do both.

Sometimes I think that I shouldn't even worry about any of that and just get through the core courses. But then I think, if I started taking C and c++ programming, maybe I could qualify for a better job with tuition reimbursemnt while I am still in school.

I need to think of some informational interview questions to ask people and start going out into the field. I can already have a ten minute convo with the CTO of my roommate's company if I want her to set it up.

Okay, god, 38 is full of as much anxiety as 28 was. Wait. That's not really true overall. I'm just getting worked up.

---must stop thinking about it--

so, if 30 is the new 20 then 38 must be the new 28 and 28 is supposed to be the return of Saturn: a time when you become horoscopically challenged by Saturn, the stern taskmaster. No really, it's like astrological karma. . .saturn comes back to the same place it was when you were born and you're supposed to learn some lesson about your life other wise you'll be doomed to make the same mistake in another 28 years.

Here's the Astrological Significance of the planet Saturn:
Saturn is the farthest planet seen with the naked eye. He takes 29 years to go around the Sun. This cycle is the longest cycle that we will experiment more than once in our lives. As such Saturn has come to represent both the physical limits and the karmic process where our lives is divided in cycles of learning. With each Saturn's return we come to rememorate (consciously or unconsciously) our previous experiences. Hopefully we'll learn from successes and failures. This would also be a time to reap what we have sow.


It feels like the return of saturn all over again.

the difference between A-List and B-List according to Radar magazine

http://www.radar-mag.com/features/issue_02/b_list.html

Not that there's anything wrong with that. B-Listers are a refreshing antidote to A-Listers, who, frankly, have become a tedious pain in the ass. Where the A's are demanding and spoiled and wear their celebrity like a hair shirt, the B's are accessible, attention-hungry eager beavers.

ha ha ha ha ha ha
hair shirt

Okay, I'm going to remove a lot of the technical info like real email addresses and mime type info and shit like that but this is the saved commincation from september 11. I was working as a temp/contractor at NBC at the time which was very surreal. I got to work early that day and had been sitting in Bryant Park around 8:30 or so, watching everyone get ready for Fashion Week. It was a beautiful fall day.

Then the world fell apart. The chaos of the information flow is evidenced in these emails. We were getting a direct feed from AP news wire but some of the info was incorrect. No one knew what was going on. All I know was that I was downstairs on Floor 7, helping the WNBC web team try to get info up on the web as quickly as possible while behind us there was a bank of 16 televisions, with 16 different views of the hellishness. It was horrible but all any of us could do was focus on the tasks that we were doing.


-----
Message-ID:
From: "krixfort (NBC)"
To: 'Kristeena'
Subject: newsflash
Date: Tue, 11 Sep 2001 08:52:29 -0400


A plane just crashed into the World Trade Center

-----
Message-ID:
From: "krixfort(NBC)"
To: 'Kristeena '
Subject: holy crap!!
Date: Tue, 11 Sep 2001 08:58:49 -0400


It took out like 14 floors at the top of the WTC. . .It looks like another
bomb went off. . .

-----

Message-ID:
From: "krixfort (NBC)"
To: 'Kristeena'
Subject: Oh boy
Date: Tue, 11 Sep 2001 09:03:37 -0400


shit's flying around this place. . .

-----
Message-ID:
From: "krixfort (NBC)"
To: 'Kristeena'
Subject: there was a second plane
Date: Tue, 11 Sep 2001 09:11:43 -0400


they think because the second tower has been hit as well. We have to
evacuate the building in case this is some kind of terrorist thing.

-----Original Message-----
From: 'Kristeena'
Sent: Tuesday, September 11, 2001 9:08 AM
To: krixfort (NBC)
Subject: Re: there was a second plane


where are you going?
-----
Message-ID:
From: "krixfort (NBC)"
To: 'Kristeena'
Subject: RE: there was a second plane
Date: Tue, 11 Sep 2001 09:33:35 -0400


DO me a favor and call my grandma/mom and let them know I'm okay. I can't
call out because all the lines are busy cell and otherwise.

There was a hijacked 737 that crashed into the first tower and a small twin
engine jet that crashed into the second.


-----
-----Original Message-----
From: 'Kristeena'
Sent: Tuesday, September 11, 2001 6:28 AM
To: krixfort (NBC)
Subject: Re: there was a second plane


give me there number.

-----
Message-ID:
From: "krixfort (NBC)"
To: 'Kristeena'
Subject: RE: there was a second plane
Date: Tue, 11 Sep 2001 10:20:26 -0400


206-###-####

I'm going to be stuck in Manhattan. All bridges busses planes trains etc
are shutting down. I think one of the towers has collapsed.


-----
Message-ID:
From: "krixfort (NBC)"
To: 'Kristeena'
Subject: also please call my sister
Date: Tue, 11 Sep 2001 10:23:20 -0400



she just called but I can't call her back

517-###-####

this is like fucking godzilla or something.

-----
From: "krixfort (NBC)"
To: "'kristeena"
Subject: the second tower has collapsed
Date: Tue, 11 Sep 2001 10:30:05 -0400


Planes have also crashed near to the pentagon and possibly the state
department

It's also my birthday and the best present to day is that they're closing the office!!!! YAY!!! WOO HOOOOOO!

I was going to work from home (with prior approval of course) but now I have no choice!!!

YEEHAW!!

It is snowing fairly heavily but it's not sticking to the roads. I guess it's worse down south. Anywho, I just woke up so I'm not at my creative peak.

Here's my horoscope for today according to the New York Daily News.

Your place in the world feels more defined. Career wins could have something to do with it. You'll experience a change in the nature of your friendships in the next seven weeks. You need different things and expect more, so the kind of person you're interested in, whether for kinship or romance, has to be able to deliver. Your lucky numbers are 8, 15, 24, 29 and 38.

And the best thing about birthdays is that you get two horoscopes. That was the birthday scope. Now here's the regular pisces scope:

Mental engines are racing - you may awaken early with an idea or a worry. This fuels your creativity. Try to think of it as "all good." Finding the right words for your feelings will help you face your fears. Singles take classes and meet new prospects. As the weekend progresses, so does your romance. Parents find community activities that children thoroughly enjoy. Your extended family could reach out for help or establish a tighter bond with you.

I don't really know what that means but what I do know is that I share a birthday with Bruce Willis and Glenn Close. And Mike S. (work) and Jolene W. (grade school.)

Oh, yeah, now I remember why I was bringing up the blogger. I just read an article about Gay Nuptuals in NYC. And I have to say, Bloomberg is such a pussy. He won't take a freaking stand on this at all. One day he somewhat supports it, the other day he makes some comment that completely denigrates. Here's the latest story. Bloomberg's comment is at the end. What a jerk.

Okay, just downloaded a song by the Yeah Yeah Yeah's so I could hear what they sound like. They're getting some press in the Seattle Times today. The lead singer reminds me of Chryssie Hinds from the Pretenders.

post deleted for fear of future reprisal

okay, due to the train blast in Madrid, security at the PATH station was tightened up. I got to go to work and say hi to guys standing around with M-16s.
Cheery.

Anyway, some guy apparently hadn't listened to any news at all since before yesterday. He yelling into his cell phone all pannicky saying, "you NEED to TURN THE TV TO CNN RIGHT NOW and tell me WHAT'S GOING ON!!!"

It gave me the 9/11 chills all over again.

Here's some of what people blogged on September 11.
Astrc[dot]com::Requiem
Live and direct from the end of the world
9/11 from the Woolworth Buiding

at some point, if I can find them, I plan on posting the barrage of emails I sent from NBC as the event unfolded. I saved them but I don't know where they are. I need to remember. The emails went out within minutes of the attack, mostly to my roommate, the third was a plea for her to call my family since I was isolated by that time.

I had an out of town guest and she asked me something about it and as we walked past City Hall I just started talking about it and talking about it and I couldn't stop telling stories about it. About how everybody was watching the ticker on 6th and 48th at FOX on the day that Bush spoke in the megaphone and how when the fighter jets swooped down as loud as the blue angels about 50 people simultaneously crouched and cowered and hunkered down to the ground and then slowly got up and looked at each other and shook their heads as they realized what it was. And the day after when there were bomb threats all over times square and grand central and we knew one was coming to Rockefeller it was just a matter of when. ANd the pannicked looks people would give each other everytime the train lurched or the bus was stopped in the tunnel. And the silence. and the smell.

enough gloom. Today is my grandma's birthday. No one knows how old she is because she has three different leagl documents with three different birthdays. Someday we'll find out that she is really 100 years older than her actual age. She took some indian medicine that gave her an unnaturrally long life.

That would be nice.

I'm a pisces. This is all about me.

Pisces

Romantic Pisces, you are the twelfth and last sign of the zodiac. You are regarded as the sign of sensitivity and receptivity, and are a true chameleon by being mutable and infinitely complex. Your keywords are communion and vision, and you have the capacity to go beyond this world to the one of dreams and the spirit.

Your ruler Neptune, the planet of confusion and chaos, gets people out of habits that imprison them so that they question themselves and can discover another path toward growth and spirituality. Neptune is also the planet of imagination and illusion, and governs the dream world with all its many facets.

Pisces is the third of the three water signs, which means that you are concerned with the realm of emotion and feeling. You deal with sensitivity, intuition, and deeper psychic aspects of life. You are able to conduct unconscious telepathic communication with others.

Your sign rules the twelfth house of the chart, the sector associated with the unconscious, need for seclusion, and places of restriction. This house describes the wellspring of your being, including psychological problems that you repress. This house is very healing and can promote personal and spiritual growth, once you make the effort to go deeper and face YOUR reality.

Pisces is a mutable sign. You adapt to the exigencies of life and ingeniously melt into circumstances like a chameleon. In your interaction with others, you are personable and compassionate, and successfully connect on a deep emotional level.

Your strengths, dear Pisces, lie in your altruistic and empathetic nature, because you feel the urge to help people less fortunate than you. Your sensitivity and intuition make you a true healer. Your strong imagination and highly evolved creativity predispose you to artistic expression.

Your main weaknesses are that you can be weak-willed, passive, and indecisive. Many times, you prefer to escape reality and indulge in your dreamworld. Chaos and confusion can be present in you, which may frustrate your circle of friends. At the same time, you can be oversensitive and fragile, feeling victimized by others.

michelle makes the blog today with her uncanny ability to sum up my very thoughts exactly!

Here is a cool thing about not working. I was home yesterday for the live broadcast of the mayor's press conference announcing that the city, although not perfoming same-sex marriages, will be honoring any such marriages (from PDX, SFO, Canada) of city employee's. Furthermore, someone, somewhere in City Hall is directing 6 couples step-by-step to lay the groundwork for the legal case in which the city will be sued - and be allowed to lose its case (wink wink) - allowing for legal same-sex marriage in Seattle. This is great news in social evolution and I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS TO BECOME A NON-NEWSWORTHY TOPIC!! Sheesh, all the idiotic debate from the anti-gay marriage camp is so depressing and stupid. All of these arguments against these marriages couldn't hold water in even the most remedial formal debate. The purpose of marriage is to produce children? Wha? Same sex marriage will open the door to legal polygamy? I don't know HOW THAT'S RELATED but, really, so what if it did? It's against god and the bible? Ever heard of a little thing called the separation of church and state? How 'bout the First Fucking Amendment?
Enough said.

love HER!

I called Comcast on Friday to try and order digital cable because I wants to see me some Tony Soprano action.

They have this convenient, online order form, which is supposed to make everything easy. Well, I got a little email back from ye ol' Comcast that said my APT is NOT SERVICEABLE.

What thee hell? So I call the little number that they give me and I speak to the CSR and she says, " Your apartment is not serviceable" and I say, "Hmmm. That's strange because the people directly below us have digital cable."

She says, "Do you have a real apartment?" With bedrooms and a bathroom and all that?"

This was my face. . .zoiyoiyoiyoiyoiyoi-ing!!!!!


What do you mean, a real apartment? As opposed to a fake apartment? I live in a box in the basement, why can't I have cable? I live in the closet. W.T.F????

So I said, "Yes, I have a real apartment."

And she says, "Well, it's in the system as non-serviceable and there's nothing I can do about it. You can fax over a copy of your lease if you want."

ANd I said, "Well, no I can't"

ANd she says "Why can't you?"

I say, "DUH GENIUS, my lease is thirty miles away at my house. Ya freakin' retard. I don't know why we're considered unserviceable when we have stolen cable piping in right now!"

Christ on a crutch. I oughta give Tony a call and tell he needs to work up the dorks at Comcast. Teach 'em a little lesson. . .ahhh what do I care. They're dead to me.

l8tr,
krix

P.S. good god that picture is worthy or a Ren and Stimpy moment. . ."you like the same things I do. . .boiled football . . .dog's breath" Oh wait. . . here's the whole speech from SPACE MADNESS

"...I'll just lie back and think pleasant thoughts. Chicken pot pie... Chocolate covered RAIsins... EEGlazed Hammmmm... They think I'm crazy... But I know better... It is not I who am crazy... It is I who am MAD!... Didn't you hear 'em? Didn't you see the crowds?!! Oh my beloved ice cream bar... How I love to lick your creamy center... eeyaaarghruch... eeyaarghrunch... eeyaarghrunch... And your oh-so-nutty chocolate covering... You're not like the others... You like the same things I do... Wax paper... Boiled football leather... Dog breath... WE'RE NOT HITCHHIKING ANYMORE... WE'RE RIDING...

(Stimpy: "Stop it. You're talking crazy")

Oh no... I know what you want... You coveteth my ice cream bar!

(Stimpy: "Come on now")

No you don't! You can't take it from me now! I've had this ice cream bar since I was a child... People... Always trying to take it from me... Why don't they leave me ALONE?!!!

(Stimpy: "Easy now...")

Back off man!!!... Don't make me use this... One step closer, I'm warning ya... Don't make me use it! Now you've done it! You... forced me to use it!!!...

bah humbug. I'm tired of people.

The Onion has a brilliant article today. Read it!

Since I'm feeling a little negative-y and don't want to write much for fear of future repercussions, I'm going to give up some poignant quotes from my friend Princess Rohbeena:

rene and i were talking about how you know when clinton was president he did stupid things and often we'd hear his name on npr and say oh great what the hell has he done now but we never ever had the sick sinking feeling that we were about to be fucked yet again!! everytime we hear about george w. bush on npr its always followed by a ridiculous story about his environmental policy or his gross mishandling of a diplomatic situation...frankly we always get this sinking feeling that oh great now we're gonna die
i hate him and i'm trying to be a better christian and not hate him personally but i can't do it! its too hard! i hate him and i hate everybody in his administration! argh argh argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so lets be campaigners this year. i'll head down to the san joaquin valley and try to convert some people to democrats.....

My life feels like a drunken Seinfeld episode. But maybe not as funny.

Nah, I don't know why I said that. It's not like Seinfeld at all. More like Law & Order: SVU.

That's not completely accurate either.

More like a cross between ER and the Gong Show.

So after the bowling I was sure I was experiencing renal failure because of pain from an unknown origin in my lower back. But then I spoke to the people I went bowling with and they all had the same pain so the kidneys are still hanging tough.

I need a Hobbit sandwich.

I'm completely overwhelmed with school and work and workandschoolandworkandschoolandlifeandall.

I'm having a day that is Very Office Space.

Watched the finale of Average Joe 2 last night. Just as disappointing and shallow as the first one. Very depressing. Reality TV is like crack: depressing, addictive, and bad.

On a lighter note, I went bowling on Saturday. I DO have a social life.