my dear friend Michelle called last night and she expressed her feelings about the impending reunion. If I may paraphrase she said something like, "Are we really going to go to this fucking thing this summer. . " or something like that. And I said, "Well, I hope this Nutritionist shit works because I just want to feel and look fabulous so that I can be smug. And then I thought why do I have to be smug. Why can't I go there and make polite conversation and feign interest in what these people are doing and how many kids they have and where they live and blah, blah, blah. Instead I just want to go and be smug, and bored and brag and all the kind of shit that I hate in people. It's like the people I was around the other night. . .they were exactly like that and I couldn't stand it so why do I want to be it.

Boy that's at least 4 weeks of worth of work in the psych chair for that. . .don't MAKE me go back to all the bitter memories I have of growing up white trash. You know, I remember catching some gossip about myself that said I was some kind of strung out coke addict. And where does anyone get off talking shit about me. I guess I want to clear up any misconceptions. AND the worst thing about this is, (and I'd really like to believe this, actually) IS THAT NO ONE CARES ABOUT ANYONE ELSE'S LIFETIME CHECKLIST except THEIR OWN! AND IF THEY DO CARE THEN THEY DON'T HAVE LIVES. SO WHY AM I FREAKING OUT???

Maybe the king of beers will tell me. . .we have a hot friday night date.

time to fly.

I want to make an announcement that next year I will be cancelling winter. That means we will be moving from fall straight into spring. That also means that certain holidays will have to be cancelled as well, most notably Christmas and New Year's with no plans to create spring or fall alternatives. There will be no Veteran's Day gift exchange or drunken Mother's Days. I will make an effort to re-locate MLK Jr's and president's Day so that we can give props to those dudes.

Last night I went to see an ex-co-worker from NBC sing and play his guitar a little. I was surprised. He was good! Unfortunately Big Head was there. This woman is a friend of the performer and she has this attitude that I find intolerable. You see it a lot around New York. It's the attitude of someone in their twenties who has landed a prestigious (or what they consider to be prestigious) job. It's very smug and over confident and somewhat condescending.

I hate to break the news but that killer job could vanish in the blink of an eye. I saw a guy get let go from NBC who had worked for the company for 25 years. It was his first job out of college and he had never worked anywhere else. He made his entire life revolve around that company. I'm sure he was rewarded through the years but he was basically let go with no qualms and replaced by someone in their twenties who was willing to work 20 hours a day.

I have an assignment due next week that should be interesting. I have to do a three minute presentation on either the Best or Worst boss I've had and why they were that way.

Let 'er rip!

My office is moved. I'm settled in. My shiner is fading. My face still hurts. My roommate is testy. I'm saving my money. The snow is still blowing.

I'm buried in it.

I have eleven classes to go at NYU. . .let's see 2 classes a semester at $7000 per. I'll be done in six semesters at an additional cost of $42000 on top of the 28000 I've already spent. Holy fuck.

I didn't even need to think about that right now. I believe the Mega Million jackpot drawing is today. I'm going to buy a ticket. wish me luck.

I'm turning into my mother. . .pinning all dreams of a future onto the lottery.

I fell on my face last thursday and gave myself a nice case of road rash, a bloody nose, and a black eye. Needless to say my head hurts like a bitch. I'm supposed to be moving my desk upstairs today and have absolutely no desire to do it.

happy Chinese New Year and all.

today's blog brought to you via the wonderful world of email venting

----
From: Michelle
To: krix
Subject: Re: Blinkin' AOL
Date: Wed, 21 Jan 2004 17:03:11 EST

Do you realize it's probably only 6 months until the 20th reunion?

There's your happy thought for the day.

You're welcome.
m

From: krix
To: Michelle
Subject: Re:Re: Blinkin' AOL
Date: Wed, 21 Jan 2004 17:03:11 EST

BAH! I just went for a physical. --- lbs. I go to see the nutritionist next Tuesday.
Waiting for results on blood sugar, cholesterol, thyroid, etc. . .all the major crap that plagues my family. After that it's gyno then dentist. Yee haw!

Hopefully they (whoever is unlucky enough to be planning this thing. . .Aragon, I'm sure) They will push it out toward the end of summer so I have enough time for the nutritionist's magic to work.

I'm feeling a little desperate.

I am in serious need of a vacation. Just in time for the start of school, I am having winter burn-out. I feel like a frantic little rat, caught in a trap, just beginning to chew its leg off. God get me out of here. Need space. Need heat.

It's still cold as a bitch which makes me very grouchy.

Class starts tonight. Multimedia presentations. Class tomorrow is fundamentals of interactive Multimedia where we get to learn about blogs.

I wanted to have an easy semester.

here's a picture of me. the jig is up.

If you see me walking around the streets of New York you can say hi. This picture cracks me up. It was taken on New Year's Eve 2002 so it's a little old.



I'm having dinner with Kevin from SF tonight at some place on Houston. School starts tomorrow. blah blah. I guess the blog will be winding down but maybe not because I am only taking two classes this semester. I will just have to incur the educational costs over a longer period of time. sigh.

I'm feeling a little bit martyr-y and displaced from my house because of our unofficial third roommate. I can't even say much because he's fairly unobtrusive but I didn't sign on to live with the guy in the original contract.

Again, I must state, I need my own place.

not much new to report.

tooth not hurting = good

almost finished with 'The Fellowship of the Ring' = geeky

working pretty hard today = who really cares

gearing my self up to stay away from The Collins = okay I guess

Had a lot of fun on Friday but the fun must stay on Fridays. Sometimes I must just go home and be BORED and sit and tolerate my roommate's boyfriend at my apartment every friggin' night. He's not a bad guy. I guess I am just wanting some space for myself that is not shared.

Enough about that.

I kind of scared to go to the dentist. The last time I went to the dentist was in the eighties and the guy told me I needed to get my wisdom toofs pulled. I never went back.

My teeth aren't nasty. I floss and brush and all that. But I think I'm getting an absess or an infected gum. It effing hurts.

So I broke down and made a dental appointment for Monday Feb 9. That was the earliest they could get me in. However if it is an emergency, I can rush to NYU and they will take care of me. I mean, for crying out loud, I've been paying for this insurance for two years. I guess it's about time that I use it.

other news:
1.) still cold here

2.) ran into Howard last night. He said that Mira was laid off. I wonder if KB knows. I introduced Howard to Cole and Howard was trying to be pretentious as usual but Cole smacked him down. I don't know really know either of them that well but Howard seems to know everything about everything and puts out the vibe that he is 'well-connected' in New York. Howard is a cartoonist and Cole is a film critic. Introducing the two of them created spontaneous combustion. Cole ran right over Howard and Howard tried to name-drop but Cole heard the name and was like, "who THAT GUY?? That guy's an asshole!" shutting Howard down in the process. It was kind of funny because Howard can be a bore.

3.) my gums still hurt -- have a nice weekend!

my bad. In yesterday's post I thought I had met a writer and maybe he is a writer but I do not believe he writes for the show that he works on. His name is not on the list of writers. That doesn't make him any less funny.

That's enough stalking. Time to drop it.

Other news:

1.) it's effing cold here. I HATE IT!!!!! I keep scouring the web looking for travel deals. There was a commercial last night that said if you fly two time from New York to CA before April that American Airlines will give you a free round-trip ticket to anywhere they fly. I could take a weekend trip to LA and to SF and then I could go to Aruba or Galway.

I love vacations.

2.) Must get own studio soon. I am really needing my own space. I love my roommate to death but I haven't lived alone since 1993. Need to live alone, even if the studio is as big as an airstream trailer.

oh lotto, why don't you let me win you. . .

I was reading an article in the Seattle times about these leaning condos that are going to be demolished. The condos have become an encampment for homeless youth.

there is graffiti on the wall that read:

I myself welcome a violent death as a climactic end to a beautifully dangerous existence

It sounds so Seattle to me. . .soggy, angst-ridden, strung-out youth.

I am having trouble staying awake today.

I met my soulmate last night only he doesn't know it. No really, if I could find one like that for real then I think I would never get bored. He is a writer for a late night talk show which I will not name here. (Pssst. people read blogs. . .I don't want to blow his cover.)

Anywho. This guy was EM EFFING HI-LARIOUS. He just launched into this schtick and I got to play along and it all ended up with me in his bed. Unfortunately, had I not been such an easy pick-up then perhaps I would have had a chance at something different. We both knew what it was about and that makes the whole thing kind of sad for me. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love the whole no-strings thing and the wham-bam especially when I'm the wham-bammer. But I actually met someone with not just a spark of intellect and humor and wit but a veritable campfire. It was like a forest fire. And it brought out my sense of humor and smarts in a way that I really haven't seen since. . .I can't even say.

So fun and funny.

I gave him my number but am doubtful that he will call. Just the look in his eye this am told me that. It's a shame but at least it helps me understand, just a little bit better, the kind of person that makes me tick. A freakin' comedy writer. It figures.

P.S. I'm ready to reign it in a bit now. I was on a tear there but now I want to go home.

work today:
involuntary servitude no gratitude just attitude low altitude
dude.

in other news:
Mandy just moved to town. Was supposed to meet up with her I think at the Continental but I was too busy adding to the U.N. Roster. Add one South African. I was a little grouchy when I left the hotel. Not enough sleep. Too drunk-y. I had an invitation to go on a safari trip with the dude because he is a guide, in the northern part of South Africa, near Botswana. I don't know if that invitation still stands as I may have not been quite as endearing at the end of our time together.

Oh well, eff it. Too many bugs and snakes. My luck I'd be eaten by a crocodile. One of those ugly big ones that rear up out of the water and pull down wildebeasts.

Crocs are basically land sharks and if you don't know how I feel about sharks then you need to read the archives. Someday when I have time I'll put a link in but for now it's up to you to find it you lazy ass web surfer. get back to work.

okay. Let me first just say that I liked it and this is why I liked it.

In the context of the story, the characters were believable. The characters were also well cast and the actors were able to make them believable.

It was corny and sweet.

I liked the set design.

who doesn't like ABBA.

I liked the story.

Reasons why I didn't like it. . .

Problems with the sound. Sometimes it was too quiet, sometimes way too loud. Sometimes the voices were drowned out by the music.

some of the dialogue was schlocky

some of the actors who should've been able to really belt it weren't all that great

choreography not so tight all around (a couple of numbers stood out.)

The only musical I have to compare to is the Producers so just because Mamma-mia didn't measure up to Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick doesn't mean it sucks.

I think the next shows on my list are Hairspray and Wicked.
For plays I would like to see Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.

Really, I should make the effort to support smaller endeavors and off-broadway stuff. I've just been lazy about it. Maybe instead of hanging at the bar in Hell's Kitchen, I'll get off my ass and get some cul-chah.

(but the bar is fun sometimes. . .)

I'm taking my roommate to see Mamma-mia tonight. Haven't been to a musical since the Producers so I'm looking forward to it. They're always so over the top and extravagent.

This has been a week from hell for me personally. Work is fine but I can't seem to get the drinking under control. And I don't really want to. Trying to figure what the trigger was for this. And, it's as if I have relinquised control over my destiny. Some unseen hand is forcing me to play check roulette with my friggin' NYU tuition check. (I'll keep taking cash out until the check clears or bounces.)

I wish I was back in school already. Then I'm too busy to play stupid fucking games with my life.

What will happen when I graduate?

It's all so Leaving Las Vegas.

to wax or not to wax. . .that is the question that has been spinning around my head since I moved to the east coast. See, where I grew up and most importantly, when I grew up, the chicks just kept things au natural down there. Now everybody is shaving and waxing their pubes into cute little shapes or just getting rid of it altogether. I don't know what to do. I tried the shaving thing with disasterous results. It's the worst itching I've experienced since shingles. I felt like I had crabs. AND THEN you can't even get all the hair off because . . .well, you just can't. ANd then you get stubble? I mean what's worse?

So now I think. . . hmmmmm, maybe to wax it all off. I liked it when I got my eyebrows waxed. Something tells me this might be different.

I have a friend with a kid and the kid is so cute that it makes me half-heartedly want to have a kid because if I did have a kid on accident it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world at all. It's pretty do-able really. . .Nana would have to move out here though. I make enough money to support everybody and I've got insurance and hell, grandma could move out too.

It wouldn't be that bad.

And then my friend would have someone to commisserate with. HA!

whew. I watched her with the little guy and it looked hard. Really hard. That's why Nana would have to come out, I think.

okay. I admit I've never been a big fan of MAD TV. I've always like SNL better. Now Comedy Central is starting to air Mad TV and I happened to catch a sketch called Kenny Roger's Jackass where Will Sasso is imitating Kenny Rogers and they spoof the MTV show Jackass. It is by far one of the funniest spoofs I've seen in years. I laughed so hard I almost puked which would have been a very jackass thing to do. You can find it on the web in various places. . . it's worth checking out.

Then I thought, what other comedy sketches could you download? Then I thought, what if cable tv providers just had things like sketches on demand. Like you didn't want to watch the whole episode of Mad TV or SNL or whatever but you just wanted to see a certain part. They could make a lot of money by offering that stuff for like, a dollar or something.

I met a cutie kiwi and took him home. He looked like the cutie little hobbit-y guys in lord of the rings, you know, Merry and Pippin. So stinkin' cute. Makes me want to move to New Zealand.

The list of guys that I've slept with is starting to look like the United Nations roster. I always did have a thing for exchange students. I've always wanted to travel. Now I guess the world is coming to me!

happy New year.