My friend Robin sent me this link
http://objective.jesussave.us/creationsciencefair.html. At first I thought, okay, right on, everybody can believe whatever and not everone has to believe in evolution etc. ANd isn't that quaint what the little Christian kids are coming up with. But the I read a synopsis of the project that took place in the junior division
2nd Place: "Women Were Designed For Homemaking"Jonathan Goode (grade 7) applied findings from many fields of science to support his conclusion that God designed women for homemaking: physics shows that women have a lower center of gravity than men, making them more suited to carrying groceries and laundry baskets; biology shows that women were designed to carry un-born babies in their wombs and to feed born babies milk, making them the natural choice for child rearing;
social sciences show that the wages for women workers are lower than for normal workers, meaning that they are unable to work as well and thus earn equal pay; and exegetics shows that God created Eve as a companion for Adam, not as a co-worker.
You've got to fucking kidding me. And some kid won a fucking prize for that? I'm too angry for words.
going to Boston tomorrow. Ready to get my dose of hysterical historical overload. yeehaw! Freedom Trail, Fenway park, Sam Adams, here I come baby!!!!!
So I joined that silly friendster thing. YEt another time waster at work. I get so distracted. Maybe I need another do nothing job. Obviously I've been too busy at work. . .I mean, look at the date of the last blog.
Got an email from a high school friend asking if I was going to the reunion. Then for some reason in my reply back to her, I started listing who I've seen or kept in contact with from high school over the course of the last twenty years. It was a lot more people than I would've thought.
okay back to the grind-y
He has the best
account of the blackout. Sums it up better than I ever could.
Things are good. No bitchy rants. I think the blackout mellowed me out a little. It was nice. I lit about a thousand candles, smoked some ciggies, drank a couple of rum and diet cokes (no beers in the fridge) and listened to my neighbors talking and laughing in the streets. The candles were so pretty, it looked like a party. The only bummer was that I was by myself. No one to share with.
So I found the old fashioned princess phone and called my mom and sister and talked until I was too tired to talk.
I bet if New York had a blackout a month, they could take that money and fund all the public school programs that get cut, like art and band and stuff like that.
Forgot to blog with all this blackout disruption madness. I was pretty happy that everyone remained civilized. I didn't get stuck anywhere but I had a few friends who had some adventures getting home. My massage therapist walked home over the Brooklyn Bridge where she said Marty Markowitz the borough president was waiting for everyone with a megaphone saying "Welcome Home to Brooklyn!" and that people were cheering and clapping as they made it over the bridge.
rant rant rant
rant rant rant
this post has been edited
I was a bridge and tunnel weekender this weekend. Our friend Mandy was in town so we were out ripping it up.
Let me qualify this a little. I used to RIP IT UP. Now ripping it up is basically like tearing it a little. So we ripped it up middle age style. Even though I am the only one approaching the middle ages.
At some point during the weekend I had a burst of philosophical drunkenness that amounted to me slurring a lot and ending the conversation with something like, "Thass sokay. I don wanna soun trite but que ssssssera sera, man."
Nah, it wasn't that bad. I did kiss off Atkins for the weekend though. And bought some new work pants. And a copy of Ghostbusters.
When I watch shows like Ghostbusters and Stripes and Beverly Hills Cop, it's like they're funny but they're not as gut-bustingly-make-me-want-to-quote-every-line funny, like they did when they were released. Fast Times at Ridgemont High is like that as well. They're funny but sometimes I feel like I'm laughing for nostalgia's sake at old favorite worn out punchlines. It's like the ghost of a joke. I don't know if they've lost their resonance because they're dated or because some of the lines have becoame a part of the collective unconscious or what.
It just felt weird.
As I was going through old emails, I saw this in one of those mass forwarded emails that clog up my inbox. . .
It was something about how the person remembered being a kid and hating it when old people would say stuff like "you don't know how lucky you have it, etc. " So the person that wrote it must have grown up around the same time I did and wrote a diatribe to the kids of today:
I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet -- if we wanted to know
something, we had to go to the goddamned library and look it up ourselves.
And there was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter -- with a
pen -- and then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in
the fuckin' mailbox and it would take like a week to get there.
And there were no MP3's or Napster! You wanted to steal music, you had to go
to the goddamned record store and shoplift it yourself. Or we had to wait
around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ would usually talk over
the beginning and fuck it all up.
And we didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with
high-resolution 3-D graphics. We had the Atari 2600! With games like "Space
Invaders" and "Asteroids" and the graphics sucked ass. Your guy was a little
square! You had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels
or screens, it was just one screen forever. And you could never win, the
game just kept getting harder and faster until you died.
Just like LIFE!
Yeah, just like life.
below an email volley between me and a friend:
To: Krix
From: friend of krix
Subject: whats the diff between sbux and enron
we aren't getting raises but check this out
http://www.forbes.com/free_forbes/2003/0512/109.html
To: friend of krix
From: krix
Subject: Re: whats the diff between sbux and enron
Is this article saying that Orin SMith only makes 38,773 a year?
To: Krix
From: S
Subject: Re:Re: whats the diff between sbux and enron
its in thousands. thats 38million a year. One of the top 20 while starbucks
is a relatively small company
To: friend of krix
From: krix
Subject: Re: whats the diff between sbux and enron
okay, gotcha.
So no raises? That's so completely wrong.
Hi, I'm Mr. Corporate America. I like to screw my workers over by asking them to work long hours for no pay and give them little paper awards for their 'dedication'. I call it taking one for the team. All the while I'm protecting my ASSets so that shareholders don't get jumpy because my numbers aren't increasing. I'm also keeping my executives happy by protecting their pensions at all costs, even if I have to ask 99% of my labor force to take
another for the team and cut their pay. I work for:
a.) enron
b.) american airlines
c.) hewlitt packard
d.) starbucks
oooof. I hate it.
To: Krix
From: friend of krix
Subject: Re:Re: whats the diff between sbux and enron
(insert CEO's name) thinks that fully grown adults are happy with gold stars and pats on the back, rather than MONEY like he gets with his bonus of 1.5 million.
My department won the "keeping the dream alive" award. we each got a keychain. fuck off .....
by the way the "dream" we were keeping alive was for (insert CEO's name) to be a billionaire....
So if any heads in Corporate America really want to know what their employees think of them, look no further.
I sent Michelle a picture of OddTodd that I found on the internet. Here's what she had to say:
"omygod. I just love that head. It makes me want to give birth to him backwards. (you can tell him that on your second or third date but, please, not before.) "
SHE has strangely enough, run into a former business partner of mine. It seems funny to say business partners but essentially that's what we were for two or three short months. She's in Bozeman and successfully completed the plan that we had planted the seeds for. Even though I wasn't a part of it, I feel a small sense of satisfaction over her success. Whenever I would run into people from Bozeman who'd mention her place, I'd get a kick out of the fact that she made it work and that she had the tenacity to stay with the idea.
I don't always have that tenacity and sometimes opt for the more conservative path that seems a sure bet. It seems like that's my M.O. For instance, just recently, I was mulling over the decision to scrap the whole computer thing and pursue writing again, like I did in the beginning of my college career. Hell, I've been writing since I was a kid. But the idea of putting that out on the line and actually doing it, and possibly failing seems a bigger risk than anything I've ever tried.
It sucks because when I was in high school I was really shy and terrified of making mistakes. That fear was evident during band where technically I was proficient but didn't have any balls. I could sight read like a mutha but if I had to improvise then I was up shit creek. Which isn't a good place to be when you play the sax in the jazz band. I always tell myself that now, if I played again, I wouldn't be afraid to make mistakes and I would just go for it and blow my guts out.
But here I am again, hiding in this computer major, afraid to suck. Don't get me wrong, I like programming alright. I like the problem solving part, and the logic, and that all that stuff but I certainly don't have the passion for it that I did when I first started. And the desire to keep up with it and learn new things is just dying. It is such a fucking chore.
It doesn't help that I seem to have reached the pinnacle of my technical expertise about 3 and half years ago and have made a series of job choices that has not allowed me to further or solidify any of my technical skills. And, like a foreign language, the farther away you are from it, the less you remember until finally it's only conjured up in tiny little threads of consciousness.
Unsatisfactory.
Need to smoke. Day off today to take care of NYU stuff. Laying down $7,000 to pursue a safe bet.
Here's a little internet porn story. It goes a little something like this. . ..
Once upon a time, I was curious to find out what the difference was between the FREE porn and the ALMOST Free porn or even the pay per porn. So I actually entered my credit card number in at a porn site so that I could get my share of porny porn porn.
After about 10 minutes I decided that I didn't need the porn site's porn services so I decided I would follow their instructions and "CANCEL MY MEMBERSHIP" in their little porn club. Of course, the directions on how to cancel were absolutely buried. I couldn't find them anywhere and there was no way to navigate back to them. But aHA! little did they know that I AM A WEB EXPERT (wexpert?) and that I knew how to go through my history and my cache and find the frickin' page that had the un-enroll directions.
So I followed the directions to the letter and cc'd my own self on all the little emails that I sent them JUST IN CASE these pornsters were scammers.
I don't hear anything from them so I assume everything is peachy.
About three months later I decided to be fiscally responsible so I'm going through my bank statements and I see this charge for 39.99 from some company I don't recognize with an 800 number attached to it. I'm all fired up because I caught this erroneus charge and I'm going to get to the bottom of it all. I call the 800 number and just start reaming the girl on the phone.
I say, "Who are you people?! What is this charge? I did not charge this?! What is this?!"
The phone voice says, "It's a charge that was created durung an internet transaction."
I: "What?! What are you talking about? I never made any internet transactions!?"
phone voice: "Have you purchased anything over the internet recently?"
I: (incredulous)" Huh! I paid for my e-file, bought a movie, and an airline ticket and those purchases are clearly defined on my bank statement!"
Phone voice: "Can you think of anything else you might have purchased. . ."
I: "I just told you everything I've pur. . ."
Now I start to think. And think. like a tiny little crank is starting to crank in my brain. creeeeaaaaakkkk creeeeeeeeakk oilcan oilcan!!!
I: "Oh SHIT! Opps, excuse me. (tiny voice) I think I may have purchased something else. Maybe.
Phone Voice: "This charge says ADULT ENTERTAINMENT!"
Me: (YELLING) "I CANCELLED THAT 15 MINUTES AFTER I PAID FOR IT!!!!"
Phone voice:"It looks like you've been charged for the past three months for ADULT ENTERTAINMENT."
so anyway, phone voice I'm sure got a kick out of my discomfort. Especially after I was all indignant and stuff. But phone voice held none of that against me and helped stop the charges and refunded me for the three months of ADULT ENTERTAINMENT charges that I never used.
To anyone who is curious. . .there really insn't a secret treasure trove of great porn waiting behind the credit card charge page. Just go to the local dirty book store and buy a copy of Penthouse Forum.
H0RNY Girls Squirting as they 0RGASM
That was the subject line that made me want to whip out the credit card and go cruising for internet porn. That and 'Pound her in the Shrimp Basket'.
Shrimp Basket huh? I'll never be able to eat at TGIFriday's again.
Happy Monday.
I forgot to tell the world of blog readers that I had another train incident on Monday, I think it was. The PATH train car I was riding on started SMOKING and there was a crazy burning smell and it turns out that there was a FIRE underneath the train. Some garbage probably lit up by a ciggie butt. Anyway, the smoke really starts coming up into the car but the train doesn't move and all of the ten people in that particular car, myself included, JUST SAT THERE LIKE IDIOTS. Personally, I was too tired to move and was halfway hoping that the train would go up in flames so that I could get some rest.
Not sure why no one else moved. Maybe they were tired too.
Why is it that I CAN NOT FIND a transcript of Bush's press conference online? Hmmmmmm. C'mon media, what's going on? I'd hate to think that the first amendment was abolished while we had our backs turned on our civil liberties in favor of watching the spectacle in the middle east.
Oh I know, I should have watched but I was too busy being a fag loving liberal hippie welfare sucking VOTER!
